Dear Readers,
My bet is that you will be seeing people you love (and perhaps cherish) over the next few weeks and that these same people you love (and perhaps cherish) may have voted in our most recent election in different ways than you did.
My bet is also that these people you love (and perhaps cherish) voted the way they did for very different reasons that you did. The dividing line or lines for you were not ones that they saw. Their news sources and preferred experts drew a very different picture than the one which you saw.
I am going to ask you, for at least the next few days or weeks, to consider your love of your friends and family to be more important than politics. The election happened. It’s over. A group won and groups lost. And we all have guesses as to how it will all play out.
We all want a better world and better place to live, right? So instead of continuing the animosity and finger-pointing, how about we shift our efforts to extending grace and love and kindness to those around us and see how that rolls?
The holidays bring a lot of togetherness… And a lot of opportunities for extending grace.
Here’s my suggestion for making it through some of those uncomfortable moments:
When a topic comes up or a statement is said that gets your blood boiling, or even just feels a little uncomfortable, consider saying something like this:
“I love you. I respect you. And I think you feel the same for me. This conversation is going in a way that is making me uncomfortable. Can we back up and go in a different direction here?”
Then suggest another topic like the holiday decorations or the food or the cool sweater someone is wearing.
I am not suggesting that should you avoid the hard conversations with everyone all of the time. But I am suggesting that, when things take an uncomfortable turn at holiday gatherings, you take the lead and suggest an off ramp for the sake of love and relationship.
Save your political conversations for moments when they can be respectful for all parties involved. If they cannot, then move along. No one is going to change their mind or hear another side if they don’t feel heard, too. If you think everyone is up for that, go for it. But if it is not, then repeat after me:
“I love you. I respect you. And I think you feel the same for me. This conversation is going in a way that is making me uncomfortable. Can we back up and go in a different direction here? Where did you get that amazing sweater?”
I hope this helps.
I was in a bind vey recently and was able to get out of it. As I keep replaying it in my mind, though, I wish I had said what I am sharing here. The outcome in my situation was good, but it could have been better.
I want kindness and joy and love… and respect for each of us. I want to be able to speak up respectfully when I disagree in a way that is not going to provoke conflict. Some groups and situations CAN handle a deep dive. Most do not. I think this may be a good way to move on from those situations that do not.
I hope you agree and can join me in spreading more love, joy and kindness.
With love and respect,
Amy